When it comes right down to it, are we ALL racist, sexist, etc? - a philosophical discussion of my thoughts.

Time for a philosophical discussion on discrimination.

Yesterday, I watched an interesting video about racism within the LGBTQ community as if pertains to dating. The question that was posed dealt with someone in this community (that is considered a “minority” group of the population) and the idea that “I don’t date <insert race here>” is a “preference” versus a “racist” statement. So, for example, if you are gay, but your dating profile reads “Asians only” or “No Asians need apply”, are you being racist? According to this video, many in this community will state “I’m just not into black men (or any other race), that’s just my preference”. That those who say it, don’t feel they are being racist, it’s just how they “feel”.

My initial thought is that IS discrimination to feel this way.

So this got me wondering further about dating sites specifically, and then that was followed with society in general, and then finally people as a whole. The video was saying that if you refuse to date someone of a certain race, you are making your choice based on a “stereotype” or “general assumption” ABOUT that race. So if you refuse to date someone who is black, Asian, or even white, you are making a racist decision based on some preconceived idea about the entire race.

When I look around, MOST couples I know are made up of 2 people of the same race. I know several interracial couples, but the majority, are not.

We have laws that protect people of all races from being discriminated against. So why are dating sites allowed to ask for your race? Being that I have been married for 30+ years, I have no need for dating sites, and I met my wife LONG before websites even existed. But I remember the infamous “personal ads” found in newspapers of my day. “SWF” (Single White Female) was a common phrase that could be found in these ads, followed by specifics that were desired by the ad’s owner. From my understanding, this is still somewhat the format in use on dating sites today. So why are you allowed to advertise for these “racist” requirements?

To push this idea to the limit, why are you allowed to state your “gender” on these sites? Since gender is considered “separate” and “different” from your biological sex, is it not “sexist” to be looking for someone to date based on biological sex or gender?

I am not arguing to remove discrimination laws, or the protection of minority groups, but if we have dating “preferences” are we ourselves not “discriminating” against certain “groups”? I’ve read so many articles about racism, sexism, microaggressions, safe spaces, etc. I have been called a racist for disagreeing with an idea someone has because their race is different from mine, when in fact, my idea was simply different. I have been told that “because I am not part of a certain ‘group’, that my thoughts are therefore ‘invalid’.” So now I’m wondering if those who attacked me based on my race or sex being different, are the same people who have “preferences” in their dating lives. Do these “preferences” they have give me the right to respond with calling them “racist”, “sexist”, or whatever other name I can find for them?

Should the laws against discrimination be applied to dating websites that ask your “preferences” (a.k.a. ALL OF THEM)? Is much of what we call “discrimination” nothing more than a farce perpetuated by political agendas? Have we become so sensitive to our differences, and because we are now offended by every idea that is different than our own, that we look for some sort of discrimination to be the root cause of these differences?

When it comes to dating “by race”, are most people in fact “racist”? If men only want to date women, or women dating only men, are they being “sexist”? (I’m guessing that the question of being sexist will be answered with “what about having children as the goal?”). The video I watched ended with congratulating people who decide to change their dating profiles to reflect “no racial preference”.

So for this discussion, I want to ask, “is it ‘wrong’ to have a preference (race or even gender) in a dating partner?” Second, “are you someone who is offended by discrimination, but then discriminate against certain groups when dating?” “Does your dating partner offend you BECAUSE they discriminate whom they will date?” Finally, “has the envelope of discrimination been pushed so far that we can no longer tell where the problem begins and where it ends?”